How Terrorists REALLY Recruit Followers

The Democrats are touting the Iraqi war as the cause celib of al-Quad recruitment but, a Golden Carp agent recently attended an al-Qaeda jobs fair and found the truth.
The scene: several would-be recruits are being addressed by, Saddam, an al-Qaeda leader, He proudly points to a PowerPoint presentation and speaks:look, here is a story from AP, which we refer to as the "al-Qaeda Press," -- see, they confirm that we are not terrorist but freedom fighters and that our organization has expanded worldwide. They also provide valuable employment for several of our members.

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Without a doubt we are winning our battle in Iraq. It is only a matter of time and the results of the US 2006 election before the Great Satan redeploys from Iraq with his tail between his legs. Read these headlines from those great tellers of truth, the New York Times, the Washington Post, the LA Times, the Boston Globe and many, many others.

Here is a story that US congressman Murtha, may Allah protect him from chief terrorist Bush, is helping us against the Crusaders. He is only one of our many US supporters. They are called Democrats.

With their help we soon will be able to once again transfer money and make telephone calls to our warriors in the US without fear of detection. We will be able to pay for our agent's gym fee, clubbing, flight lessons, and cell phones.

And my little warriors, there is no downside if you are killed, remember all those virgins, plus your family will be well paid with the best dollars that can be printed.

FATIMA, cover your foot, Ali is looking.

But what if we are capture, asks Muhammad. Oh, my little suicide bombers, that is the best of all. Many important US senators believe that they must claim the moral high ground in the world, but as we know, the infidels do not have morals, just look at this fold out page from Penthouse - how decadent.

But back to your question Mohammed, if you are capture by the US you will be given a vacation in Cuba where you can enjoy the gentle breezes from the gulf of Mexico, 3 meals a day and many other activities.

What if we are tortured, asks Apoo. Ah, my little bomb maker, the US does not torture -- no cutting off of heads, contamination with menstrual blood or woman's panties, no dogs and, (shutter), no women interrogators. Sometimes they give you a Big Mac or take you out of the hot sun and give you a cooler room, but never fear, our powerful protector is one, John McCain, may Allah protect him from that devil Giuliani.

Bush, may jackals eat his young, thinks he is the powerful one, but McCain, may he live to see the 12th Imam return, is the true power in the US government.

It is only a matter of time before we are victorious. And if you fight hard and become famous, after the war, we'll get you a spot on Letterman or at least an interview by that Couric woman.

So, Saddam exclaims, who will join me in this glorious fight to convert all infidels and reclaim the "Golden Age of Islam?

Apoo, you have a question?

Can we..can we.. make copies of that Penthouse picture to constantly remind us of US decadence?

Learn to love the Democrats

If I step back and accept, as some cynics opine, that there's no difference between Democrats and Republicans - what am I worried about in 2006/08? And besides the Democrats might be better for me personally with subsidized health care, social security etc. -- all the gimme benefits.

So am I just cheering for team GOP? I could be ambivalent and learn to love the Democrats, but then I think about Congresspersons Pelosi, Reid, Conyer et al., and they scare me.

This country was made great by capitalism and the "unblinking one" was once a member of the House socialist caucus as Conyer still is. And what is Conyer's shtrick? Our next would-be Judiciary committee chairman's all consuming passion is pay back for Clinton's impeachment. He's already held a Bush mock impeachment hearing.

Reid's claim that "we killed the Patriot Act" threatens my personal safety. If the Democrats win, they will owe the antiwar crowd their first child. Negotiation will be our policy and a democratic US is a lousy negotiator.

Clinton talked with North Korea and what happened - we sent them heavy oil and food so they could secretly spend money to develop missiles.

If I were Iran, North Korea, Syria, Russia, China, I would consider a win by the Democrats as the emasculation of the US. Just as Mogadishu encourages Bin Laudin, a Democrat win would encourage our enemies.

A Democrat US will talk and talk while our enemies plan for the next 9/11, but this time they wont just stir up the US. The object of their next attack will be so horrific as to destroy the US's standing in the world - so they will think and plan.

Kids don't forget how to get under your desks and put your head between your legs and kiss your ass good-bye.